For Christmas this year, Adam’s parents gave us a three month subscription to Awesome Clubs Beer of the Month Club. You can read my review of January’s selections here.

This month featured selections from Mendocino Brewing Company
in California and Lancaster Brewing Company in
Pennsylvania.

White Hawk IPA by Mendocino Brewing Company

Although I’m not a fan of IPA’s I am not one to let beer go to waste. This beer tasted fresh and crisp, and fairly light. It was definitely hoppy but I was able to enjoy it with a meal.

Black Hawk Select Stout by Mendocino Brewing Company

This beer has a rich dark color. It was medium bodied, and has a pleasant mouthfeel. Black Hawk is nicely carbonated black and tastes of black coffee with a hint of chocolate. What I liked most about this stout is that it’s drinkable. You can sip and savor it but you don’t have to. It’s not too strong to drink as you would a lighter beer.

Amish Four Grain Pale Ale by Lancaster Brewing Company

This beer poured with a nice head and pleasant amber color. It smelled fruity to me. It’s medium bodied with a rum rasin taste, and while it’s an American Pale Ale, I did not notice a particularly hoppy taste. There were hops, but it wasn’t the defining characteristic of the beer.

Amish Milk Stout by Lancaster Brewing Company

This beer has a very dark color. It smelled of coffee and caramel. It was more carbonated than the Black Hawk, but not too much. I tasted dark coffee and caramel, with a hint of bitterness and hops.

If you follow me on Twitter, you will see that one of the descriptive terms I use for myself is “podcast addict.” They are an integral part of my exercise routine, daily commute and errand running. In no particular order, I’d like to review some of my favorites. To see all of my podcast reviews, click here.

I was excited to hear that two of the feminist blogosphere’s most prominent writers were going to collaborate on a podcast. Amanda Marcotte and Samhita Mukhopadhyay record “Opinionated” the latest production from Citizen Radio. Their tagline, “The Feminists You Were Warned About” fits the show perfectly, and has quickly become one of my favorite podcasts.

Amanda and Samhita discuss current events and pop culture from a feminist perspective, providing insightful analysis with a deliciously
snarky brand of humor. Frequently, discussions involve the intersectionality of feminism with other social justice movements such as a recent discussion about interracial marriage or the way access to contraception and abortion care are more difficult for poor women. Other times they will talk about how a particular issue has impacted them directly – trying to navigate sex and relationships as a feminist or how to deal with the misogyny inherent in much of popular culture. They have excellent chemistry together – I feel more like I’m listening to an interesting conversation between friends over drinks than to a podcast.

Some episodes feature guests, Sady Doyle was interviewed about an article she had written on dating advice for teenage girls. Another recurring segment involves a twitter hashtag – #femquery – which was created to solicit questions about feminism which are answered during the show.

Highly recommended for any feminist with a sense of humor.

EDIT: The paragraph I objected to has been taken down. LI Families did not inform me directly, but when I shared this post on their message board another commenter pointed it out. Good work, LI Families!

On February 10, the website Long Island Families sent out an email and posted an article entitled “Mommy To Be Myths” debunking various old wives tales about pregnancy. I’m no expert, but most of it seemed to be sound and healthy advice that I had heard before. But the last one startled me.

Cut out your routine manicures/pedicures/hair appointments False. Although being in a very fume-filled environment is not the best for long periods of time for anyone, you will not harm your baby in any way by getting your routine mani/pedi. Scheduling your appointment for a quiet time at the salon will help cut out any fumes you may be exposed to.

I really object to the way this downplays the risks of the chemicals found in many nail polishes, nail polish removers, hair dyes and hair straighteners. It’s true that some brands of nail polish have become safer in recent years, but risks still remain in brands that haven’t changed and in many nail polish removers.

Additionally, the post mentioned nothing of the recent controversy about formaldehyde in a popular hair straightening treatment or the health risks of breast cancer and fibroids from hair care products frequently used by black women.

Finally, there was no mention that phthalates found in many common cosmetics pose a risk of hyperactivity once the child is born.

I know that pregnant women are bombarded with all kinds of pressure and unsolicited advice. But to simply hand wave away a legitimate concern is irresponsible. There are plenty of ways for a mother to be to relax without increasing the risk of harm to her or her baby.

If you follow me or my husband on twitter, you might have noticed that we were in Las Vegas for the long weekend. Today was our first day back in civilization. Waking up I felt a little bit jet lagged, but I survived.

I dozed on the train, but walking out into the sunlight this morning in Manhattan I immediately was confronted with Catholics who were observing Ash Wednesday. It usually reminds me of when Rodney Dangerfield joke that every New Year’s he resolves not to ask his Catholic friends at the beginning of Lent, “Hey what’s that schmutz on your forehead?” Others on twitter were having similar fun.

Sometime in the early to mid nineties I noticed – in the NY metro area anyway – that Catholic priests stopped just gently pushing their thumbs into peoples foreheads to distribute ashes, and started making crosses. I am not sure if this was to add to emphasize that this was a Christian ritual, to make it more aesthetically pleasing or for some other reason, but every year I catch myself admiring people with perfectly symmetrical crosses on their faces.

It brings me back to when I was a very observant Catholic in college. Our campus chaplain would give the same sermon every year on Ash Wednesday called “Gettin’ Ashes.” He would print it in the bulletin, which I wish was still available online. But the heart of it was that receiving ashes was an outward symbol of an inner desire to change – the custom came from a time when people covered themselves in ashes to mourn but also to atone for wrongdoing. He said that we should not receive them if we did not intend to focus on spiritual growth throughout Lent. And then when the service was almost over, he would harken back to the Bible reading we had just heard,

Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven.

So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words.

And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

And he would tell us to wipe the ashes from our foreheads before we left the chapel, wiping the ashes from his own forehead. Usually people would gasp at this point and he would say “I know what your grandmother told you, she had good intentions. But ashes are not a badge, they aren’t a fashion statement. They represent what is inside you.” Then before the closing prayer – he would advise us that Lent is not a self improvement project, we shouldn’t give up sweets so we would look great on the beach during spring break. He only advised giving up smoking (for good) and doing more volunteer work. Then he would tell us that if any of us were working too hard and not getting out at all we should go to a concert by our university’s music department, consider that our ability to appreciate it was a holy gift, and that this would be a great way to observe Lent as well. Usually a few students would sneak out without wiping their ashes off, totally confused and visibly shaken. I wish I would have asked them what they were thinking, but it was never any one of my friends so I never did.

This sermon, which I heard four times in four years was extremely impactful in my decision to leave the church – I stopped observing Lent because after a while, I felt it didn’t help me much spiritually. Why should I receive ashes if I didn’t feel like making the 5 week commitment to be more pious? I experimented a few times with fasting on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday – combing my hair, washing my face and taking Advil for my fierce headache as advised in the Bible. But it didn’t make me feel close to God. It made me exhausted and grumpy.

This all came rushing back to me not this morning, but this past week, when meeting a (atheist) friend and her (Catholic) boyfriend for a meal, she asked him what he would be giving up for Lent. He told her and then she asked me what I would be giving up. We had spoken previously about my conversion to Unitarian Universalism and I told her and her beau much of what I wrote here. I do remember as a teenager sometimes spending Lent giving something up, praying more, going to church every Sunday and feeling so special on Easter Sunday. I still appreciate the joy of Easter as a UU – on a different level. I am grateful for all of the love in my life and the opportunities I have had for forgiveness, and appreciate the coming of spring. If I go to Mass with my family (which I have the past few years on Easter as we usually visit family out of town) I like seeing the children in their bright pastel outfits, excited about their chocolates from the Easter Bunny, and my Aunt’s priest usually gives a Homily I don’t find entirely objectionable. Then we do something fun in their town and have a wonderful meal as a family.

But Easter does not have the same anticipation it did when I observed Lent. I have often thought about how to bring it back – a way I could “do Lent” as a UU that would feel fulfilling and authentic. I tried one year giving $1 to all of the homeless people who asked me for money during Lent. But I have since redirected my giving elsewhere. I’ve searched the internet and read a few other UU blogs about this topic, but like this post, they offer more questions than answers. I suppose that’s a start.

Citizens of the United States respect our Political Ancestors, the “Founding Fathers”, more than the citizens of any other nation on Earth. Most nations respect their major historical figures, but we practically worship ours. We name our streets, social clubs and companies after them, even putting their images on our currency -as a reminder of what ideals we value. Thorough study of their deeds tells us much of the origins of our nation, but they should not be Iron Rails upon which we should set our future.

The Founding Fathers -or “Founders” if you’re into that whole brevity thing-  are a hard to pin down group -there were over 100 men we could call “Founding Fathers” -participants in the Continental Congress, the American Revolution, and Constitutional Convention. Many were lawyers, many were soldiers, all were white, male, and of some means. There’s a prevalent belief among politicians and pundits that if one could simply latch on to a Founding Father that shares one’s opinions, one could win every single argument they have about politics. This is not so, for many reasons.

Firstly, we must stop projecting our own political labels onto the Founders. Were they liberals rebelling against a heartless stodgy authority? Were they Conservatives securing their ability to make money without interference by bureaucrats? We cannot claim them as “Liberal” or “Conservative”, as these labels did not yet exist. The modern political spectrum is a product of the French Revolution, which began after the American Revolution ended.

Secondly, the Founders often contradict one another. Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton had a very public, very embarrassing feud during George Washington’s first term. Furthermore, one could easily contrast Benjamin Franklin with his fellow Pennsylvanian, Dr. Benjamin Rush. The famous deist libertine is nothing like the priggish puritanical physician (in his defense, Dr. Rush was a very charitable man, if a little boring). There has been more than enough ink spilled about every Founder, and they were not always in Harmony. The Constitution was vaguely worded to ensure it would actually get ratified, and each of the signatories argued what it actually meant after ratification.

Thirdly, just because an opinion was held by a Founding Father doesn’t make it correct. Jefferson didn’t believe black people were equal to white people. Despite his native brilliance, he held a very wrong-headed belief. Additionally, being racist doesn’t automatically make one as smart as Jefferson.

Fourthly, and perhaps most importantly, there are various topics on which we will never know the opinions of the Founders. They all died before medical science had developed to the point that surgery could be considered remotely safe -the danger of infection made it a last resort. Abortion as we know it did not exist yet. They also didn’t know about heavier-than-air-flight, radio waves, or modern medical science. Were we to apply “Original Intent” consistently, we would not have the FAA, the FCC, or FDA. Say what you want about the effacacy these organizations, but the fact remains that there were things that the Founding Fathers could not anticipate, and in the passing centuries, we had to sort it out without them.

Most of the Founding Fathers were concerned about posterity, and imagined the United States was a “new order for the ages”, that would outlast them, their children, and their children’s children. No one doubts that they’d be pleased with the result, and pleased that people still honour them. But a country that devotes all its energy pleasing men long dead will not survive in the face of new challenges. We now have to trust ourselves. America needs to embrace the idea of a living Constitution, cease the deification of the Founding Fathers, and approach challenges in a way that is effective but just.

At least, I hope that’s what the Founding Fathers would have wanted.

In my review of Orgasm, Inc. I talked about the New View Campaign, and organization dedicated to challenging ideas about female sexuality promoted by the pharmaceutical industry.

Recently, I also watched the documentary “The Perfect Vagina” (hat tip Christopher Ryan’s facebook page) a BBC film about the growing incidence of labiplasty and other genital cosmetic surgery done on women.

The has FDA approved labiplasty in the United States even though the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists issued a statement in 2007 against the procedure,

These procedures are not medically indicated, and the safety and effectiveness of these procedures have not been documented. Clinicians who receive requests from patients for such procedures should discuss with the patient the reason for her request and perform an evaluation for any physical signs or symptoms that may indicate the need for surgical intervention. Women should be informed about the lack of data supporting the efficacy of these procedures and their potential complications, including infection, altered sensation, dyspareunia, adhesions, and scarring.

The New View Campaign has started a petition, asking people to sign it and urge the FTC to regulate labiaplasty more strictly. I believe that this is an excellent course of action. Because sometimes these surgeries are performed because a person has a legitimate medical need, and because I believe that people should be able to modify their bodies as they see fit, I am not in favor of prohibiting this procedure. However, because of the risks involved, I do believe that women must be informed of them so that they can make an educated decision. Requiring surgeons to inform patients of all of the risks involved is one of the provisions the New View Campaign is calling for.

You can sign the petition here.

For Christmas this year, Adam’s parents gave us a three month subscription to Awesome Clubs Beer of the Month Club. (Best. In-Laws. Ever.)

This month featured selections from Fordham Brewing Company in Deleware and Boulder Beer in Colorado

Helles Lager by Fordham Brewing Company

Very light and crisp, the aroma was slightly bready and it was extremely drinkable – just a hint of bitterness. I would rate it as solidly average. No frills, but there was nothing objectionable about it either.

Copperhead Ale by Fordham Brewing Company

This beer was outstanding. A delightful copper color, medium bodied and with a rich caramel and nut flavor. A real treat.

Never Summer Ale by Boulder Beer

Very good, and not what I was expecting from a winter seasonal. It tasted like a brown ale; dark and slightly nutty with just a hint of caramel. Good for savoring on a cold night out at the pub or in with friends.

Planet Porter by Boulder Beer

I enjoy a good porter now and then and this one was solid. Pleasantly dark with a hint of coffee. Full bodied, but not so heavy you will be nursing it all night.

Last month, Senator Gillibrand announced her support of the Safe Chemicals act:

More than 84,000 chemicals are currently listed on the EPA’s database, many of which are used regularly in consumer products, but there are three classes in particular that have been found to cause hormone disruption and reproductive deformities when children are exposed in-utero and at young ages. The three major classes of chemicals which children are directly exposed are:

1. phthalates, found in soft plastic products like teething rings, balls, and plastic dolls;
2. BPA, found in hard plastic toys, such as action figures, electronics, and playmobil toysets; and
3. flame retardants found in children’s pajamas and bedding.

….

Senator Gillibrand is cosponsoring the Safe Chemicals Act, legislation introduced by Senator Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ), which requires chemical companies to demonstrate the safety of industrial chemicals and the EPA to evaluate safety based on the best available science. Specifically, the legislation would:

Require chemical companies to develop and submit safety testing data for each chemical they produce. EPA would have the authority to require any additional data needed to make a safety determination before a new chemical is introduced into commerce. The submission of this data is not currently required by TSCA prior to commercialization, and can only be requested by the EPA once they have reason to believe that a chemical poses a risk to the population.
Require EPA to prioritize existing chemicals for testing based on risk into one of three classes: immediate risk management, safety standard determination, no immediate action to facilitate a risk-based approach for analyzing the approximately 84,000 chemicals currently in the EPA’s database.
Allow the EPA Administrator to issue orders or initiate judicial proceedings to protect the public from chemicals that may “present an imminent and substantial endangerment to health or the environment.”
Provide the public, market and worker access to reliable chemical information by publishing a database housing chemical information and decisions made by EPA about chemicals.
Establish a Children’s Environmental Health Research Program, which requires the EPA to establish an advisory board on children’s health as it relates to toxic chemicals, provides grants to support research into children’s vulnerability to industrial chemicals.
Incentivize safe alternatives by establishing a research grant program targeted at priority hazardous chemicals for which alternatives do not presently exist.

I’ve written before about my concerns about pthaltes and other toxic chemicals found in cosmetics and every day products. I applaud Senator Gillibrand and Senator Lautenberg for their work on this issue. If you live in New York or New Jersey, send them a call, email, or even a tweet or facebook message to thank them for their job well done.

Otherwise, you can contact your Senator and Congressional Representative through the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics by clicking this link.

My “to be read” pile of books is pretty darn big, and so I don’t always get to the newest books right away. However, I did get a chance to read these books fairly soon after their release dates. Here are my thoughts on some of this years books.

Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World by Lisa Bloom
I heard an interview with Bloom on The Stephanie Miller Show promoting this book and my reaction was a bit confused. It’s important for people to call out how increasingly stupid our culture is becoming. But I was also wary of the tone of the subtitle – women don’t need someone else shaming them for being trivial. However, I think that the book was well done, especially in the first section which explains why it’s important for people, especially women to pay attention to world news and politics. The second section had some suggestions for how to educate yourself with a lot of resources for doing so. I especially admire Bloom’s promotion of this book which has included her now famous editorial imploring adults to ask little girls what books they are reading instead of merely telling them they are pretty, and her follow-up begging women to start building their self esteem by learning to accept compliments gracefully. My main criticism of this book is that I think Bloom may be preaching to the choir. I’ve found that people who are content to only consume media that is sensational and unchallenging are not likely to change their habits because they are happy the way they are. My few female friends who don’t vote see my interest in politics as the equal of any other hobby.

Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture by Peggy Orenstein
For years I have been reading editorials from parents concerned about trends in children’s entertainment that have made princesses an obsession for many young girls. I’ve observed this from a far, not having any children of my own. But I was interested in a more in depth study of the topic, and Orenstein tackles the subject with relish. Her descriptions of a toy industry convention and a trip to the American Girl Store in New York City are especially interesting. I hope that the trend changes into something more egalitarian – shows like Powerpuff Girls and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic can have aspects of traditionally feminine aesthetics without being insulting to girls (or boys.)

Zombie Spaceship Wasteland by Patton Oswalt
I’ve been a fan of Oswalt since his recurring role as a Dungeons and Dragons player on Reno 911! His interview on Marc Maron’s WTF podcast brought my attention to his memoir. It focuses on his adolescence and the beginnings of his career as a standup comic. Oswalt is a gifted storyteller and the tales of his life as a young nerd coming of age are poignant and funny. It reminded me in some ways of Wil Wheaton’s Just A Geek. Highly recommended.

Swimming in the Steno Pool: A Retro Guide to Making It in the Office by Lynn Peril
I’ve read Lynn Peril’s other books – Pink Think and College Girls and was not disappointed with her third foray into the realm of kitsch and feminism. Peril documents the history of women in white collar corporate America through the role of the secretary with fascinating detail and plenty of wry humor.

The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta
I don’t read a lot of fiction these days, but I do love Tom Perrotta. His most recent novel details what the would would be like if The Rapture actually did occur. Perrotta’s portrayal of suburban America is spot on as usual and during a recent visit to New Jersey, I half expected to see his characters walking down the street. This novel is, I think, the saddest of the ones he has written and this is appropriate given the subject matter. The characters drift, trying to make sense of what has happened, and the whole thing feels so real. What I always loved about Perrotta’s writing is the ability to take something surreal that almost strained credulity (the lunch truck mafia in Joe College, or the underground football league in Little Children) and make me able to accept it and suspend my disbelief. The basic plot of the story already contains the fantastic and provides the grounding for the characters and plot to advance.

Sybil Exposed: The Extraordinary Story Behind the Famous Multiple Personality Case by Debbie Nathan
This book was one I simply had to read the week it came out. I read Nathan’s other book Satan’s Silence about the Satanic Ritual Abuse Panic of the 1980’s and was amazed that she had exposed another horrific story as being mostly falsehood. Before I read this book, I read the original Sybil – which I found to be incredibly sensational, and extremely dated in terms of the way Sybil’s mental illness is explained – the explanation is entirely Freudian. Nathan lays out her case clearly and solidly, telling the story of not only Shirley Mason, but Dr. Wilbur and Flora Schriber – three very intelligent and ambitious women who became trapped in their own lies. Our modern understanding of Multiple Personality Disorder – that a person can become very good at self hypnosis fits the facts of this case entirely. The story is a sad one, and I think Nathan’s point that these women built up this deception because as women they had few other choices to gain success is a strong one. A full view of how limited their options were is important to understanding how and why this deceit took place. Nathan’s analysis that the story of Sybil was so popular because of how it fit with the gender norms of the time is spot on. I also re-watched the made for television movie based on the book, and while I now know the story to be absolute bunk, Sally Field and Joanne Woodward give performances that stand the test of time. This story is so entrenched in our culture, I doubt it will go away, but I do hope that Debbie Nathan will continue to write books that challenge us to rethink what we think we know.

A few years ago, I decided that I wasn’t going to change my last name if I ever got married. It was something that had always bothered me about marriage, and when I realized that I could get married without changing my name (Thanks Feminism!), the idea of marriage looked a lot more appealing.

My mother and I were having a conversation about my decision after Adam and I were engaged and I said, “I’m not changing my name. But if someone makes a mistake and accidentally calls me Mrs. Lee, then I won’t get offended. People make mistakes and it won’t be worth constantly getting bent out of shape for.” To which my mother responded “Well I certainly hope you wouldn’t get offended! It would be an honor to become Mrs. Lee!” An “honor” she knew I wasn’t going to receive.

All of my female friends who have gotten married have either hyphenated or changed their name. Some said they liked the tradition. But a few told me that “It’s just easier.” I don’t understand how hours of paper work and standing in line at bureaucratic offices and on hold is “just easier” than…doing nothing. But as Amanda Marcotte has written what “just easier” really means is that it’s easier to suck it up and do the paperwork than stand your ground and be seen as a castrating feminazi.

I’ve gotten a few pieces of mail addressed to Mrs. Adam Lee which is oddly unsettling even though I know it’s an archaic form of address – neither my first or last name is on the envelope, and yet it’s a communication meant for me.

Now that it’s our second holiday season as a married couple and we have sent out our second batch of holiday cards with return address labels that have both of our first and last names written on them clearly, Adam is getting frustrated that most cards are sent to “Mr. and Mrs. Adam Lee.” I really don’t care if it’s addressed that way to both of us, I just want to see the sparkly cards and see the pictures of people’s babies and pets. But this morning Adam remarked to me, “Is it worth sending out these cards if everyone just ignores you and erases your name?” I was like “Yeah! Glitter penguins! Duh!”

But I’m touched he’s offended on my behalf. Maybe I should gently remind people that I did not change my name. If I never tell anyone about it, aren’t I playing my own game of “it’s just easier?”