Fobes published an article last week entitled “How Feminism Became A Joke.” Susannah Breslin writes that Feminism is a joke because:

• Gloria Steinem approves of Mad Men but not a new television show about the Playboy Club.
• Her film studies professor explained a phallic symbol in a way that went over her head.
• Feminists point out ways in which patriarchy harms women. When we don’t believe that Hugh Hefner is a guru of spiritual enlightenment, this makes us “hypocrites.”
• No one is a feminist anymore.

Her arguments about Steinem and hypocrisy were too convoluted to follow, and I haven’t seen “Working Girl” so I can’t comment on Sigourney Weavers symbolic penis. However, the tired cliches about feminists not having a sense of humor and feminism being dead are so patently false, that I don’t know if anyone who espouses them actually knows what feminism is, or what has been going on in the past 20 years or even the past 5.

In terms of feminists who have a sense of humor, there’s Amanda Marcotte, Twisty Faster, Julie Klausner, Sady Doyle, Greta Christina, Jen McCraight, the entire Jezebel blog… there actually hasn’t been a feminist blog I’ve read since I’ve started reading feminist blogs in 2005 that hasn’t made me laugh at least once. Of course it can’t be all fun and games, there are serious and sometimes tragic issues to discuss. But feminist ladies (and dudes) do know how to crack a joke when appropriate. There’s also a rich history of funny ladies who are also feminists – Sarah Silverman, Maria Bamford, Sarah Haskins, Kristen Schall, just to name a few.

As far as “No one’s buying it anymore,” I’m not sure how anyone with an internet connection could not notice the Slutwalks being planned by people all over the world. Or the thousands who marched across the United States in defense of Planned Parenthood earlier this year.

Whether Breslin is dishonest or clueless doesn’t matter. This kind of dreck is published (and solicited) by Forbes to remind everyone what the rich and powerful think of women. And that’s the cruelest joke of all.

The Price of Motherhood: Why The Most Important Job In The World is Still The Least Valued by Ann Crittenden

The Price of Motherhood was an alarming book, and an important one for anyone who is thinking of becoming a parent or who already is. I do not have any children, but I would like to one day. The idea of “mommy wars” always seemed too simplistic to be valuable, and my suspicions were correct – there seem to be few if any differences between children whose parents work, and those who are cared for at home.

Crittenden shows that no matter what choice women make, they’re in for a raw deal. It’s not just that a gap in employment could lead to lower wages and difficulty finding a job when returning to the workforce, there is a penalty for having children at all – even if they return to work very soon after giving birth.

The idea behind the Price of Motherhood is that our society undervalues child care, whether it is provided by parents or outside the home in day care centers. The most astonishing part of the book was that even husbands of working mothers face a penalty:

A survey of 348 male managers at twenty Fortune 500 companies found that fathers from dual-career families put in an average of two fewer hours per week – or about 4 percent less – than men whose wives were at home. That was the only difference between the two groups of men. But the fathers with working wives, who presumably had a few more domestic responsibilities, earned almost 20 percent less.

A 4% decrease in hours worked led to a 20% loss in income. For men.

This book is an important one for everyone to read. Crittenden presents a fascinating case of what a divorce settlement would look like for a family where the husband works and the mother stays at home with the children where the income is divided in such a way that keeps all people at the same percentage above the poverty line as they were when the marriage was in tact. The amount the husband has to pay is sizable, and the anecdote makes it clear why divorce often leads to poverty for women and children.

I felt an overwhelming sense of doom when reading this book. The truth is that no matter what, in the United States it is not easy to raise a family. I think that this book is valuable for answering questions that a lot of young women have before starting a family but are unsure where to look for answers. Many women were raised to believe that since motherhood is rewarding and natural, everything will work itself out in the end, and might feel that our financial concerns are not valid. They are. Securing resources is a part of taking care of children. I would recommend this book for anyone curious about or planning for the financial aspects of parenthood.

Greta Christina recently commented on facebook:

[I] Am very puzzled by the troll on my blog who thinks I’m a vegetarian dog owner. And who apparently thinks these would be bad things. ?!?!?

And it brought me back to the eighth grade. I was sitting in Art class. At my assigned table were two other girls I didn’t know well but were fairly neutral towards me and two boys who, for some reason had decided to pick on me. They bullied me while the two girls said nothing, for fear that they would become the targets next. They made comments about my clothes, or anything they could think of. I was a slightly awkward 13 year old, growing out my bangs and without much fashion sense, but my biggest crime, in retrospect is that as a new student that year I hadn’t yet found a stable group of friends to back me up. And I also had not learned how to project confidence and a “don’t fuck with me” vibe – my adolescent vulnerability was on my sleeve.

I was a part of my school’s Conservation Club – an extra curricular activity for young environmentalists with maybe 4 other kids but somehow the boys in my Art Class had found out about this and thought it was hilarious.

“Hey! Those acid wash jeans are sex-y!” he said mockingly.
“Shut up.” I thought I was being forceful, but it probably made the bulls-eye bigger.
“Do you know how you are going to end up? You’re probably going to never get married, because seriously, what man would want you? And you will be living in a big mansion, as President of Earth Day adopting Korean kids.” So much to unpack there. Sexism, racism, and more from some middle school jerk.
I thought about it. I knew the “forever single” was supposed to hurt my feelings, but I was more interested in his career prediction. President of Earth Day, I already knew, was not a real job, but it sounded pretty fucking cool.
“Ok, whatever.” I said. The bell was about to ring.

I’ve often thought back to that day and how much his insult(s) revealed the amount of toxic hatred our culture spews and is picked up by kids and teens. I thought of it the night before my wedding and laughed that he was so far wrong on two counts (My job is white-collar boring and administrative, and I have not yet see President of Earth Day on Monster.com). The mansion and Korean children have also not materialized.

So yes, Greta, trolls have a way of picking out stereotypes they feel represent the “worst” about a group and flinging them back at us in a way that both fails to insult and reveals a lot about their own warped ideas.

I’ve written before that I think Vag Magazine is hilarious. While we are waiting for season two, they are doing a series called “That’s Not Feminist!” Episode One is Here.

Fennel answers a question I sent her in Episode Two:

A few weeks ago, I simply posted a link to a story about the beginning of the lawsuit Jamie Leigh Jones filed against KBR-Haliburton. Since then, people have come here searching for “jamie leigh jones pics” and “jamie leigh jones sexual partners.” The defense decided to dig up information on her past, which could explain the search terms. But they way rape victims are sexualized (i.e. Lara Logan) might have played a role as well.

Last week, a jury found that Jones was not raped. It’s not surprising. Few rape cases end in a conviction even in a criminal trial. I had thought that the damage done to her pectoral capsule, genitals and anus would be enough to convince anyone that she had not had consensual sex, but it’s unclear what the jury was allowed to hear, and KBR has done a good job of muddying the water. One of the most powerful corporations in the world used popular narratives about women being liars to avoid liability. Considering the number of American soldiers they have killed through negligence, the fact that they gave our troops dirty water to drink, and the allegations that they participate in human trafficking, it is a deep and cruel irony for KBR to question the credibility of anyone.

Jessica P at Care2 has a lot to say about they way the sexism inherent in our culture is still obvious from this verdict.

It’s hard to write about something so disturbing, with a faceless, amorphous, villain right out of central casting. By my count, they imprisoned a rape victim, electrocuted our soldiers to death, serve troops disgusting muddy brown water and are modern day slave mongers – almost too evil to be real, as if from a children’s story. The good news is that the number of rapes is at an all time low. The attitudes of some people make it difficult to convict rapists, but collectively we are doing something right with preventing the crime to begin with.

The Zoe on the left is not a Manic Pixie of any sort.

I have been following the debate over what Julie Klausner dubs “Manic Pixie Muppet Babies,” women who act like 12 year old girls in pigtails, rompers and ring pops. I can see why some people think she was too harsh. I sporadically collect Archie comics. The banner for this blog has cupcakes in it. When I had strep throat and was delirious with fever, watching Rainbow Brite actually did make me feel better. But I can admit that I part of the charm comes from getting to regress. It is fun to play make believe and remember what it was like to be a kid, but that it isn’t healthy to do all the time, and more importantly there are plenty of grown up things that are even more fun.

There is a double standard about men’s and women’s “childish” interests. A man can put sports memorabilia all over his cubicle/office and it’s just a hobby. But if a woman does it she is either too masculine, only doing it to ogle the players sexually or acting like a 13 y/o tomboy. If she put up Disney Princess or Hello Kitty posters no one would take her seriously ever (not to mention if a man did those things).

My favorite response to the Manic Pixie Muppet Baby (Babby?) phenomena has got to be the comedy webseries “Vag Magazine.” The women are very silly third wave feminists and the series pokes fun at cliches like crafting, roller derby and menstrual cups. It’s better than it sounds.

Being a grown up woman is something to celebrate and to be proud of. We can still be silly, and have fun without regressing or losing our dignity. That’s what I loved about the movie Bridesmaids, and I think what draws many women to shows like Sex and The City.

Finally, if it is “all about the peen” are we really going to say that Zooey Deschanel’s onscreen persona is having more fun at scoring with dudes than Kathleen Turner?

Why is this even a question?.

As Jamie Leigh Jones gets her day in court, we would do well to remember that 30 Republican Senators voted against her right to sue KBR Haliburton.

I was perusing Beerit, and came upon the question, “What was the first beer you ever had?” My Dad had let me take a few sips of his Molson when I was a kid, but the first beer I got for myself was at a frat party my Freshman year of college, in the fall of 2000 that I had gone to with my four suite-mates.

One of my roommates had gotten a pass to a Frat party, an exclusive one, which meant that they were only letting people in who had invitations. This was good because it meant that we could party in the beautiful fraternity house that they lived in – I went to college in a town that had seen better days economically, and there were plenty of large gorgeous Victorian homes available for ridiculously cheap rent. But an invite only party meant that it would not be too crowded to move around, dance or have a good time. A girl in my Math class would be there, her boyfriend was a pledge. She said it was going to be great.

We talked about the party as we got ready. We decided what taxicab company to take, and agreed to keep an eye on one another. Remember, the other ladies warned me, drink the beer, not the punch. I nodded in agreement. The beer was what the guys drank, it might taste like crap, but it wouldn’t make you immediately drunk (As little as I knew about sex when I was seventeen, I knew less about alcohol.) like that punch. We speculated that the punch was mostly cherry Kool-Aid mix, sugar and vodka. See, girls like pink, sweet, fruity drinks and not manly, bitter beer. If they made it sweet enough and strong enough, we tried to guess the fraternity guys reasoning, women would get too drunk and be more likely to say yes to sex…or, as we darkly reasoned, would be less likely to out up a fight if they were being raped. So, drink the beer so you can be sober enough to decide if you want to hook up or not.

The beer tasted like dishwater. But I danced with my friends and some of the guys who were there, chatted with classmates and people I knew at the party, played some pool. I had a really good time. The music was great. And I didn’t think twice about going to a party where I suspected the hosts were actively trying to rape – if not me, my friends or other women there.

I drank my first beer because I was trying to avoid being date raped.

There is no reason to blame myself for wanting to go out and have a good time with my friends. The college frat party is such a cultural touchstone, who wouldn’t want to see what all the fuss was about? We took reasonable precautions, watched our own and each others drinks, looked out for each other, didn’t drink and drive. But I had walked into that party, where I actively suspected that the men throwing it were attempting to hurt women who attended. Now, they might have all been very nice boys. The fraternity in question didn’t have a reputation for assaulting women. They might have only made the punch as an alternative for people who didn’t want a beverage that tasted like mud. It might have had a reasonable amount of alcohol in it. But that’s not what I was thinking when my friends and I planned to go. I was thinking “these guys probably made this punch to coerce women into sex they don’t want to have” and my reaction wasn’t not to go, it was just not to drink the punch.

Not for a minute did I think to question for a moment my assumption that GHB was everywhere, or think that I should be angry about it. It was just part of the dating landscape, I supposed. I did some research online for this post and found that the drug most commonly related to sexual assault is alcohol. Only about 2 or 3% of women who go to the emergency room after being raped were slipped a drug like GHB or Rohypnol. But my mother had warned me about watching my drink since I was a preteen, and this poster was all over my campus. We were acting rationally given the information we had available. Given the facts, would it have been more reasonable for our parents and school to tell us to stay home and never to drink at all? In the same way that telling people they must only ever be abstinent is not an effective way to teach them about sex, “hide under your bed and never touch a drop of alcohol” isn’t realistic or practical either. It would also put the responsibility to stop rape entirely on women, and imply that those who dared enjoy a drink deserved to be assaulted – with no attention paid to the rapists who are actually perpetrating the violence.

Looking back on that night, I feel nostalgic, yet startled at my naivete. Overwhelmingly I feel warmly about that time of my life and happy that it all worked out so well. Eventually, we moved out of the dorms and into those swank houses ourselves. We came of age and could buy our own drinks. There were raucous parties where we genuinely felt safe – those were the best of all – and we drank beer that actually tasted really good.

I’ve been going to NYSC since February of 2009, and I am generally satisfied. I consider myself to be in favor of a healthy lifestyle which includes lots of exercise. I am not in favor of shaming people about their bodies. So I filled out a customer satisfaction survey and included the following:

Currently, there is an advertisement in the window of the location I visit which says “Thought flu season was scary? Swimsuit season is here.”

I am at a loss for words as to why Town Sports Clubs thought that this was an appropriate advertisement. According to the CDC, since October 2010, 5,991 Americans have been hospitalized due to influenza and 105 children have died.

This is hardly comparable to a little embarrassment due to some love handles or cellulite on the beach.

I would appreciate a response as to the reasoning behind this advertisement. I am otherwise very satisfied with NYSC because I had found it to be a supportive environment to pursue my fitness goals until I saw that poster this week. I also am publishing this inquiry on my blog located at www.politicalflavors.com in hopes of drawing attention to this crass advertisement.

I look forward to their response.

I heard about an opening night event in NYC for the new movie Bridesmaids sponsored by GLOC (The Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy), so I decided to go with a few of my friends. I had read about the movie a few months ago on Jezebel and was curious to see if it lived up to the hype.

I had very high expectations for this movie, but was not disappointed. It’s about a woman, Annie (Kristen Wiig), who is asked to be the Maid of Honor at her best friends wedding and isn’t quite up to the task. The other bridesmaids have very different personalities and she has a comically messy personal life to boot.

Many times during the movie, the audience was laughing so loudly that I missed portions of the dialogue, and so I will definitley give it at least one more viewing. The story was not just a send up of modern wedding cliches, but also touched on issues of extended adolescence in the current economy and how friendships can grow and change over time. While there was some gross out humor (Salon called it “a triumph for vomit and feminism“) it wasn’t too much for me – and I have very little tolerance for toilet humor and slapstick. There were several surprisingly touching moments as well. One reviewer commented on Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph’s chemistry as best friends and I agree that they seemed very natural together. The interactions of the different personalities and great comic actors contained incredible potential and was not wasted by the filmmakers.

I’ve read criticism’s of Judd Apatow’s work but the only other movies I’ve seen of his was The 40-Year Old Virgin, (He produced Anchorman but didn’t direct it). I think part of what made this movie work so well was Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo’s script. Much of the dialogue – especially where the women characters were concerned – rang truer than other mainstream comedies. We finally get to see some raunchy humor based on a woman’s sexual experiences. It was very silly but quite refreshing!

I am a little wary of people who want the success of this movie to prove that women are funny, because if it had failed, I don’t think it would mean the opposite. However, I welcome with open arms more movies that show women as more than just love interests and with desires more complicated than just getting the guy (or getting the dream job). I like Bridesmaids because it explored women’s friendships, something that is too often mocked and derided – women are catty bitches to each other, dontchaknow? And while none of the characters are perfect friends to each other, they all have an honest desire to connect with other women, which I think a lot of us can identify with. This desire isn’t treated as a source of mockery, although sometimes the women’s terrific failures are set up as something to laugh at, we are also meant feel bad with them, when they are lamenting their loneliness. This is key to the way the movie shows women as people. They’re not just backstabbing bitches or airheads simpering about girl power. The characters, while ridiculous comic caricatures, have genuine feelings.

So, go see this movie, it’s a great popcorn flick that won’t make you turn off your brain or your patriarchy blaming skills.